I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
