We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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