i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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