So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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