is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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