This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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