Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We got so high we made milksteak
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
