Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
