We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
