Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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