i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
