accomplished twins. life is a go
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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