I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
pop tarts are not kleenex
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
