He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
