I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
