I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
