At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
