doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
