Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
