I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
my liver is dry heaving
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize