my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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