oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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