i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize