Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
