Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
