I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize