I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
