like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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