Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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