If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
