I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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