I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
