help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
