Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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