I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
