he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
