God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
