so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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