The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
