Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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