i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
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the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
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I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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