yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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