I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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