who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
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