Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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