im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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