I'm gonna have a badass scar
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
