Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
