You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
