Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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