Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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