I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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