There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize