I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
i think i just naturally attract stoners
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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