i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
