Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
