I'm lost and stupid without you.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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