i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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