She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
