Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
