you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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