No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
